Saturday, July 13, 2013

Where am I Supposed to Be???

Today was one of those days where nature was really calling my name. Even though the clouds were rolling in for the rain that's expected later today, an hour long walk gave me some time to clear my head along with some fresh air. It also gave me some thoughts as to my

As you guys found out in the last post, I'm pretty much underemployed. And by that, I work in the restaurant sector. It's definitely a salary that covers the basics along with leaving me enough to make progress on my loans and not be eating soup or mashed potatoes for every meal. Anyway, it's not that fun, nor is it that mentally stimulating, and most of the time, aka all the time, leaves me physically exhausted at the end of the night. 

So, it must have been picking the wrong major right? Actually, no. I have two degrees in the hard sciences, which means that jobs should have been mine for the picking. Except not. I didn't want my mother to support me at any point of my life, so I went ahead and got a part-time employment that gave me something not only to do, but also as a way to meet people and not be a complete introvert. Yet, it left me, and still leaves me at times, feeling somewhat resentful of the cards life has dealt me. 

There are days I wonder if years later, I will look at all this free time as squandered because my appreciation was so lackluster. Because the other people around me were able to move onto the next step at a quicker rate than I was. That they were able to obtain employment right out of college, or able to get a car so they no longer relied on public transportation. Some days, I easily forget that the purpose of life is to enjoy the journey and not rush through each checkpoint. 

There are tons of opportunities in our daily lives that we do what others expect us to do, and it comes out with positive results. But what about those times when you just have this nagging feeling that all is not quite right in your world. That what you are doing is so you can hold your ground among the group. But that might not be your group, you might not be even on the right land per se. 

Not all achievements are made to be placed on the wall or displayed outwardly with a pretentious smile. That day you made the perfect apple pie or finished reading the novel before the renewal date, those are also accomplishments that leave an inward feeling of satisfaction. 

So to all those who feel they need to keep on rushing to finish this stage, collect the reward and move onto the next major hurdle, slow down. That slice of apple pie is meant to be savored, not gulped down.

As for me, it definitely is a day to day journey. I have to learn to appreciate where I am right now, and what I have to give to the world. 

1 comment:

  1. This is great. I struggle with this all the time. I have been one who rushed through to get everything done and checked off the list as quickly as possible and now that I'm in a stagnant part of life, done with college and have already landed a career and bought a house, I find myself wondering what's next and why am I here? What's the purpose to life? I need to get re-focused and find a higher calling/purpose for my life, but I also need to enjoy the journey instead of always rushing through every day looking ahead.